Wednesday, November 11, 2009

A final farewell to Staten Island...

So as you may recall from my last post, I lost the house I was supposed to be moving into, and then I lost my apartment. Lately, I've seen the back of more Uhaul trucks than...a truck-stop hooker who specializes in Uhaul trucks? Apparantly, I've lost even my knack for putting together a decent simile.

Anyway, The Homeless Chef has been without her computer for quite awhile. I'm back in Manhattan (for now), with an even smaller kitchen than I had before. Not even kidding. The refrigerator is in the living room.

It's only right that this post be written in memorium of my past year-and-a-half in Staten Island. Ah, Staten Island. What can I say? You've given me so many great memories. Being the vast Guido-haven that you are, I guess I was destined to live on you at some point in my life.

I spent my first unemployed days in this beautiful garbage-dump of a borough, with plenty of idle hours (since none of you assholes ever visited me) to wander around glamorous supermarkets, such as Key Foods. It was my privilege to pay top-dollar for shitty food (at least until I discovered that I could buy Mexican brands for half the price), and wait for hours in line while people attempted to pay with their food stamps and welfare checks.

And I learned to cook.

I mean, I've always cooked. But who has time (or energy) to prepare an extravagant, 3-course-meal after working allllll day? My unemployed days in Staten Island granted me endless hours to experiment with new foods, new recipes, and a new type of food blog. And the best part? I've received Unemployment through it all...and the same salary that I was making at my old job. Tough life.

Although I lived on the north shore of Staten Island (slightly different demographic), I wanted to honor the rest of "Staten Italy" with the ultimate Italian tailgating meal--Sausage & Peppers. It doesn't get more Eye-talian (or easy) than Sausage & Peppers. I think my mom made it for every "Culture Day" that I had in school. In order to transform this Italian staple into a "grillable, easy-to-eat-in-the-parking-lot-or-during-the-game" snack, I prepared this week's Sausage & Peppers "tailgate-style." That is, in a hot dog bun. Really, this shouldn't even qualify as a recipe. It's painful to even write out steps for this. This doesn't count as cooking. This is lame.

I just really wanted a reason to post this sweet Family Guy clip. Yes, another Family Guy clip. I think I can find a Family Guy clip that fits every one of my posts. I won't, because you'll grow tired of them, but for now...deal with it.









P.S.
I just joined Twitter. I'm not really sure how it works yet, but I discovered a few random followers of my blog were "tweeting" my posts (thanks, by the way!). So here I am.
If you read this, follow me here @Tess_T_Tweets
But don't actually follow me. I punch balls.

P.S.S.
As you might recognize, these pictures were taken in my old kitchen. AND I'm keeping my ugly green placemats just to piss off all the people who talked shit about them on Facebook! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

P.S.S.S.
I found your mom's favorite beverage:






Italian Sausage & Peppers, Tailgate-Style

Makes 4 servings

Ingredients
-1 large yellow onion, chopped into 1-inch chunks
-2 peppers, chopped into 1-inch chunks (I used red and green. Guess I was feeling Christmas-y. I like using 2 different colors, but honestly, I just buy what's cheapest. And really, yellow peppers--I could care less if you're imported from Venezuela. You are not worth $3.99 a lb. Get over yourselves.)
-4 spicy Italian sausage links (You want them to be short and fat, not long and skinny. Like a choad.)
-4 hotdog rolls
-Olive oil

Steps
-In a large pot or dutch oven (ha), bring water to a boil. Once boiling, drop your sausages into the water, and boil for about 10 minutes. Remove from water, and set aside.
-Meanwhile, heat olive oil (enough to coat the pan) in a frying pan or skillet. Add onions, and cook for about 5 minutes, or until they are slightly softened.
-Throw peppers into the hot oil with the onions. Cook until the onions are translucent and caramelized, and the peppers are soft.


-With a slotted spoon, remove the onions and peppers from pan, and set aside.
-Keeping the burner on, add the reserved sausages to the hot oil. Fry on both sides until brown and crispy.


-Return onions and peppers to pan with sausages, cook for 1 minute.
-Place each sausage on a hotdog roll, cover with peppers and onions, and fuhgetaboutit (You know I had to at least once).









BUFFALO SPORTS DAILY features The Unemployed Chef as the official BSD Tailgate Blogger!!!

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