While, clinically, it's probably A.D.D.; personally, it's just that you're not interesting enough to hold my attention. I mean, I once spent an entire day looking at different varieties of berries on Wikipedia (I'll be honest. I originally googled "dingleberries."), but usually, I can't sit still for more than 5 minutes at a time.
Some people find it to be endearing. It causes me to go off on tangents, supplying you with long, rambling blog posts. I mean, where else can you read about squash, douchy realtors, watermelon (stay tuned) and David Faustino's asshole on the same website? Well, maybe Google.com, but this is a close second.
So I spent July 4th weekend at Rusty's house, and left with 2 things--the motivation to start blogging again, and a watermelon. Like myself, Rusty enjoys a good manchowder joke, and dislikes wasting food. Combine that with my love of drunk blogging, and you get this:
Watermelon juice + vodka + ice = fine quality beverage
I'm so innovative.
Actually, this sucked. Maybe that's because I used Gordon's Vodka. Because nothing screams class/sophistication like a plastic bottle. You know how I do!
Anyhoozer, this blog is actually about pulled pork. I have no idea how to gracefully transition from watermelon to pork, and after a few Watermelontinis (sure, why not), I'm not going to try. Unfortunately, "pulled pork" isn't another name for your peen post-masterbation. Fortunately, my version of pulled pork will give your dominant hand (for cooking, obviously) a rest, and allow you to rely entirely on your Slow Cooker. Seriously, even a slow cooker could figure out how to use a Slow Cooker.
Pulled Pork with Homemade Barbecue Sauce
Makes 4-6 normal servings, 2 Fat-Bastard servings
Ingredients
-2 lbs pork shoulder, sliced about 1 inch thick
-2 cups ketchup
-1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
-1/4 cup brown sugar
-1 dash dry mustard
-1 medium yellow onion, chopped
-3 cloves garlic, minced
-Salt & pepper, to taste
Steps
-Place pork slices in your slow cooker.
-Cover pork with the remaining ingredients.
-Cover, and cook on low for 6-8 hours, depending on the strength of your slow cooker. Mine is apparently the Hulk, since after even only a couple of hours my pot is scalding and spitting hot fluid (insert dirty joke here) out of the lid.
-Remove pork shoulder from slow cooker, and remove bones and excess fat (or don't) from the pork. Shred the remaining pork with a fork (poet and I don't know it perhaps?).
-Behold the beauty of your delicious, waiting-to-be-piled-on-split-Kaiser-rolls pulled pork.
-Eat up, Fatties!
