THE UNEMPLOYED CHEF: It's Man Chowder, It don't come from no can, It's Man Chowder, It's made by hand...

Really? That title prompted you to read today's recipe post?

For those of you who had been reading my posts on Buffalo Sports Daily throughout the football season, I apologize. This post is a repeat. That's when you know you've made it big: your posts stream into syndication. Or that could also means you suck, and no one wants to air you on primetime anymore (Except TBS. Very funny.).

Since I've been in such a soup kick lately (stay tuned for lots of soup posts...Soup Nazi in full effect), I thought I would kick it old school (that is, the ancient month of September 2009), and rehash for you my very first Buffalo Sports Daily post--New England Clam Chowdaaah.

OK, I’ll be honest with you. This was my first time ever making New England Clam Chowder in September. Actually, this was my first time making New England Clam Chowder ever, but don’t you worry about that, kitten. The Unemployed Chef does not disappoint. You know, so when you're tailgating or showing off your dish at the big house party, no one can say your “chowdah” tastes more like “manchowdah” (although you can always retaliate with, ‘Why the F do you know what that tastes like?’ Awkward pause.)

Hey, It’s what I do—I look out for you. You’re welcome.

Apparently, traditional New England Clam Chowdaaahhh uses salt pork, not bacon. I personally like both, but since I have about 5 blocks of salt pork in my freezer, tradition served me well. You can use whatever you want. Most Italian butchers carry salt pork. If you’ve never cooked with salt pork before, it should look something like this:

Mmmmm… salt. Fat. Drool.

You can hate on the unhealthiness all you want, but watch what happens when you show up in the parking lot with tofu skewers.

If you can’t find salt pork, no need to get your chonies in a bunch. Bacon or pancetta or even ham hocks are just as delicious and fatty. They definitely have a smokier taste, but aint nothin’ wrong with that.

New England Clam Chowdaaah

Makes one big-ass pot full of chowdah

Ingredients
-About ½ ounce butcher cut salt pork (I used half a butcher block); or 4 strips bacon
-½ Spanish or yellow onion, diced small
-2 Tbsp white flour
-3 Yukon gold potatoes, cut into small cubes
-1 cup bottled clam juice (I used Cento Clam Juice), or reserved clam juice from can (but bottled tastes less like…can.)
-2 6-ounce cans whole baby clams, drained (reserve liquid…just in case)
-1 cup half & half
-½ cup heavy cream
-Salt and pepper

Steps
-Remove rind from salt pork. Cut salt pork into small cubes. The easiest way to do this is with a pair of scissors.
-In a deep pot or dutch oven (haha), cook salt pork over medium heat until cubes are crispy. I added the rinds in there, too—totally optional. Depends how much oink oink you want in your chowder. As you can see, mine reeks of Miss Piggy.

-Remove salt pork and rinds from pot, reserving grease. Cook diced onion in the grease until soft and translucent, but not browned (about 5-10 minutes, depending on how big of a batch you’re cooking). Caramelizing the onions will change the taste of the chowder. To avoid that, I cooked the onions with the lid on for half of the time.

-Sprinkle in flour, and stir constantly for 3-5 minutes. Just like the onions, you don’t want to burn your flour.
-Add clam juice, and stir for about 2 minutes.
-Add potatoes, and bring to a boil. Once clam juice is boiling, cover and simmer until potatoes are soft. This took me FOREVER. Usually potatoes take me, like, 15 minutes. I guess there wasn’t enough liquid in the pan to soften those babies up quickly. My advice? Just keep checking them until they’re soft enough.

-Remove lid, and pour in clams. Slowly pour in half & half, followed by your heavy cream.
-Allow your chowder to heat up SLOWLY.. You do NOT want to boil anything with cream! Barf.

-Check for taste, and season with salt and pepper, if necessary. If your chowder’s too thin, add some cornstarch to thicken it up. If you prefer it more soupy (weirdo), you can use some of your reserved can clam juice to thin it out. Or water.