Showing posts with label beef. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beef. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Can't Beat This Meat

Some of you may wonder why I have so few (red) meat recipes on here. Allow me to explain. I am a vegetarian by no means. Nor am I healthy. I am just poor. Red meat is expensive, and therefore, reserved for special occasions. (I used to have this rule for alchohol, until "special occasions" became "it's 2:47 PM" and "I'm blogging.")

My mom also yelled at me for not cooking enough meat for the BF. "He's a big boy, he needs some meat!" Does she not realize we currently live in Chelsea, NYC? If he needs meat, he can get it--but I'm pretty sure that leaves me out of the picture.

There was, however, a brief period of time where I discovered cheap red meat in NYC--Western Beef. In particular, the Western Beef on 16th St by the Fulton projects. Where steak costs less than a small box of cereal. Low and behold, there were about 4-5 months where "steak night" became as ritual as, well, this:



Then we had a summer that hovered consistantly at 95 degrees--Swamp ass galore! Seeing as Western Beef is pretty far from my house, and my lazy ass refuses to walk in jungle weather with heavy bags...let's just say it's been a pasta kind of summer.

Then one day it was slightly less swampy-assy outside. I decided my household deserved a little dead animal on its dinner table. So I decided to STRUT THAT ASS* over to Western Beef. I brought home an extremely cheap family pack of boneless, skinless chicken thighs, which leaked all over my clothes on the trek home. I opened the packaging (which was basically already open, seeing as I could have won a salmonella wet T-shirt contest), and caught a whiff of ROTTEN EGGS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I strutted that ass for bad chicken???!!! Western Beef, you are now on my shit-list with Gristedes. I hate you. And I retract my ass-strut. Never again.

*I really just wanted to post this video up here. Yeah, I know it's old news. I don't care.



And of course, the auto-tune version:




Well, I was browsing through old photos, when Western Beef and I were still homies, and got a little sentimental. Here's an example of the good times that you and I once shared. You will miss me now that I'm gone.





Marinaded Steak with Wilted Spinach

Makes 2 servings

Ingredients
-1 lb. round steak, thinly sliced (It will usually be labeled as "Pepper Steak." Ask your butcher to slice it for you if you can't find it presliced. After a little marinading, this CHEAP cut of beef still tastes awesome. But you can also substitute flank or skirt steak for the round, if that's your preference.)
-1/4 c Red wine (I used a Sangiovese by Il Bastardo. There was no reasoning behind this--it was the cheapest wine in the liquor store.)
-1/4 c Reduced-sodium soy sauce, plus a little extra
-2 Garlic cloves, peeled and crushed
-2 tsp Sugar
-Peanut oil (You can use whatever you have on hand, but this is what I used)
-4-5 "big handfuls" of spinach
-Salt & pepper, to taste
-Jasmine rice (optional)

Steps
-Rinse/dry steak slices, and sprinkle with salt and pepper.


-In a large, non-reactive bowl, combine first 5 ingredients. Cover and leave out at room temperature for about an hour.


-Heat oil in a frying pan or skillet over medium high heat. Add steak to pan, in intervals if needed (to avoid crowding the pan), cooking slices a minute per side for medium rare. (The wine cooks the meat slightly, and it continues to cook when removed from heat, anyway). Remove from heat and let rest.


-Meanwhile, in a saucepan with raised sides, bring salted water to a boil. Add spinach to pan and cook for about 30 seconds. Drain and return to the pan, seasoning with soy sauce, salt, and pepper, to taste.
-If you are preparing the Jasmine rice, cook according to package directions. Seriously, I'm not telling you how to cook rice. It's right on the packaging. And if you are not literate, why are you on my blog anyway? The sexy photos and Youtube videos that have nothing to do with the featured recipe?

Yeah, that's probably it.

Here ya go:


DON'T HATE. MARINATE.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Wait for it...

In my last post, I told you to sit and wait for my chili recipe. And you might just have to keep sitting and waiting (I like to play hard to get), because the Unemployed Chef is making some major moves. Although I set up shop originally in my hellhole kitchen (in Staten Island, to add insult to injury), the Unemployed Chef will be relocating within the next few months.

I've come to grips with the fact that I might actually have a real kitchen. But my fear is that I'll lose some of my trashy, low-budget appeal. Half of my miserable, sarcastic ramblings stem from the frustration of cooking in a cramped, fugly kitchen with zero counter space (and using my radiator as a cutting board).

Question is, will the open-layout of a real kitchen change me?

Nah, I'm still a bitch, and I'll always be miserable. That's just in my genetic makeup. I promise I'll stay just as rude and sarcastic as I've always been, and I'll continue to pepper my meals with dirty jokes and sexual innuendos.

You know what, since the Jets are 3-0, I'm in a good mood. You can finally have that chili recipe. Plus I ate it on their first regular season game (they were at Houston, so chili was befitting, actually), and it apparently brought them some good luck. Also, I stole the recipe from Men's Health (mad THIEF status son!), so it's not like I'm giving away some great family secret or anything. Unless editor-in-cheif David Zinczenko is secretly my daddy. (Any confessions, Mom? Get Maury Povich on this shit, STAT!)

I have to leave out some of this recipe's "instructional" photos, for aesthetic reasons. I've come to the realization that chili looks remarkably like diarreah. But at least it doesn't look as gross as this:



LOOK. AT. THAT. It's a wet hemmoroid on a platter! Delicious!




Chili Con Carne

Makes about 8-10 servings, if you're serving over rice

Ingredients
-2 lbs ground beef
-2 medium yellow onions, diced
-4 cloves garlic, minced
-4 15-oz cans kidney beans (I usually use 2 dark red cans and 2 light red cans)
-3 cans fire-roasted diced tomatoes (I used Hunt's Fire Roasted Diced Tomatoes with Garlic)
- 2 1/2 cups chicken stock (If you're using canned broth, that's about 2 10.75 ounce cans)
-2 ounces dark chocolate (Yes, dark chocolate. Not a typo. Trust.)
-Chili powder
-Cumin
-Cayenne pepper
-Cinnamon
-Salt & pepper

Steps
-Heat a skillet or frying pan over medium-high heat. Add ground beef to pan, breaking it up with a fork or spatula.
-Meanwhile, add kidney beans (rinsed and drained), diced tomatoes (plus juice), and chicken stock to a deep pot or dutch oven (ha). Slowly start to simmer the beans, tomatoes, and stock over low heat.



-Once the ground beef is browned, transfer it to the pot, reserving fat. Add onion to the reserved fat, and cook until soft and translucent. Add garlic, and cook everything together until the onions are just beginning to caramelize and the garlic is just beginning to brown. Transfer to the pot.
-Add spices and chocolate to the pot. I'm not listing measurements for the spices, because it's really all about personal preferences. Plus, if you're heavy handed with the seasonings (like me), you'll probably keep adding seasonings as you go along. I go heavy on the chili powder and cumin; easy on the cinnamon. The cayenne will determine the spiciness (or wimpiness) of your chili. Lower the pot's heat to a simmer, and cook for an hour or more. Once the chili heats up, the spices will intensify (and the chocolate will melt), so keep tasting and adjusting your seasoning accordingly. It shouldn't be an issue--you know you're a greedy bitch like me, who can't wait an hour for that shit to simmer.
-I think this chili tastes better the next day, but if you're so hungry that the video posted above actually stimulated your appetite, serve chili immediately over white rice, and garnish with cheddar cheese.

NOTE: Serve chili over rice with a SLOTTED SPOON. This chili is very soupy, and I know most recipes and restaurants create chili this way, but I DON'T. I do, however, cook it with lots of liquid, and store the leftovers with the liquid, so that the beef/beans don't get dried out when you reheat them.







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