THE UNEMPLOYED CHEF: Football season is finally here!

Watching the Jets assassinate the Texans just feels sweeter over a giant bowl of chili and an ice cold beer...several ice cold beers.

Or maybe it's just an excuse to pig out on fried chicken, ribs, dips, and anything you can put on a grill.

But I'm sure you'll be hard pressed to find someone who doesn't love tailgating foods. You'll have to stay tuned for my chili recipe (sit and wait BITCH!), but hopefully this will keep you salivating in the meantime:

Buffalo Hot Wings on the...Grill?

I know, I know—Buffalo Wings are meant for the deep fryer. So WTF is this grilled crap? Am I actually trying to make wings healthy? Sacrilege!

Truth be told, grilled wings are actually pretty freakin’ awesome. Yeah, they’re a little less fatty, but that’s why you wash them down with 5 gallons of beer. Health problem solved.

And for my male readers (I know a bunch of you closet kitchen-bitches read this!), grilling is the epitome of manliness.

Warning: These babies take about an hour to grill, and require a lot of attention. But I stood in front of the grill in 100+ degrees in the middle of the desert to make these. So SUCK IT UP.

Grilled Buffalo Hot Wings

Ingredients
-3 pounds chicken wings/drumsticks
-1 bottle (12 fluid ounce) hot sauce (I used Frank’s RedHot Buffalo Wings Sauce…mmm.)
-1 (12 fluid ounce) can or bottle Coca-Cola or Pepsi (or RC…you cheap bastard.)
-1 tbsp soy sauce
-Dash of cayenne pepper (The more you add, the hotter your wings will be… Don’t be a little bitch.)

Steps
-In a disposable pan (or a pan you don’t mind destroying on your grill), mix hot sauce, soda, soy sauce, and cayenne pepper. Add wings, and toss to coat.
-Preheat your grill to medium heat. Place your pan off to one side of the grill, and let your hot sauce/soda/soy/cayenne mixture come to a simmer. (Bubbles…look for bubbles.)

Oh, and I wasn't lying about grilling out in the desert.

-Once your pan mixture is poppin’ bub-a-lee (90's rap reference HOLLLLLA!), use your grill tongs to take the wings out of the sauce mixture and place them directly on the grill. If there’s not enough room, leave half of them in the pan. Grill for 5 minutes, flip over, and grill for another 5.

Half the wings go on the grill. 5 minutes, flip...

...and then another 5 minutes.
-Return grilled wings to pan, and simmer for another 10 minutes. If you still have half your wings in the pan, now’s the time to grill up those bad boys.

SWITCH!
-Repeat this tedious process for about an hour, or until the wings are done to your liking (I prefer crispy skin, with the chicken falling off the bone). It took me 6 processes, grilling half of the wings at a time. So, each half-batch of wings was grilled 3 times for 10 minutes, and simmered 3 times for 10 minutes. Are you completely confused yet?
-For superhot, it’s-gonna-burn-to-go-to-the-bathroom wings, dip finished wings back in your sauce mixture before serving. For medium-hot wings, serve them straight off the grill (pansy).