I've come to grips with the fact that I might actually have a real kitchen. But my fear is that I'll lose some of my trashy, low-budget appeal. Half of my miserable, sarcastic ramblings stem from the frustration of cooking in a cramped, fugly kitchen with zero counter space (and using my radiator as a cutting board).
Question is, will the open-layout of a real kitchen change me?
Nah, I'm still a bitch, and I'll always be miserable. That's just in my genetic makeup. I promise I'll stay just as rude and sarcastic as I've always been, and I'll continue to pepper my meals with dirty jokes and sexual innuendos.
You know what, since the Jets are 3-0, I'm in a good mood. You can finally have that chili recipe. Plus I ate it on their first regular season game (they were at Houston, so chili was befitting, actually), and it apparently brought them some good luck. Also, I stole the recipe from Men's Health (mad THIEF status son!), so it's not like I'm giving away some great family secret or anything. Unless editor-in-cheif David Zinczenko is secretly my daddy. (Any confessions, Mom? Get Maury Povich on this shit, STAT!)
I have to leave out some of this recipe's "instructional" photos, for aesthetic reasons. I've come to the realization that chili looks remarkably like diarreah. But at least it doesn't look as gross as this:
LOOK. AT. THAT. It's a wet hemmoroid on a platter! Delicious!
Chili Con Carne
Makes about 8-10 servings, if you're serving over rice
Ingredients
-2 lbs ground beef
-2 medium yellow onions, diced
-4 cloves garlic, minced
-4 15-oz cans kidney beans (I usually use 2 dark red cans and 2 light red cans)
-3 cans fire-roasted diced tomatoes (I used Hunt's Fire Roasted Diced Tomatoes with Garlic)
- 2 1/2 cups chicken stock (If you're using canned broth, that's about 2 10.75 ounce cans)
-2 ounces dark chocolate (Yes, dark chocolate. Not a typo. Trust.)
-Chili powder
-Cumin
-Cayenne pepper
-Cinnamon
-Salt & pepper
Steps
-Heat a skillet or frying pan over medium-high heat. Add ground beef to pan, breaking it up with a fork or spatula.
-Meanwhile, add kidney beans (rinsed and drained), diced tomatoes (plus juice), and chicken stock to a deep pot or dutch oven (ha). Slowly start to simmer the beans, tomatoes, and stock over low heat.
-Once the ground beef is browned, transfer it to the pot, reserving fat. Add onion to the reserved fat, and cook until soft and translucent. Add garlic, and cook everything together until the onions are just beginning to caramelize and the garlic is just beginning to brown. Transfer to the pot.
-Add spices and chocolate to the pot. I'm not listing measurements for the spices, because it's really all about personal preferences. Plus, if you're heavy handed with the seasonings (like me), you'll probably keep adding seasonings as you go along. I go heavy on the chili powder and cumin; easy on the cinnamon. The cayenne will determine the spiciness (or wimpiness) of your chili. Lower the pot's heat to a simmer, and cook for an hour or more. Once the chili heats up, the spices will intensify (and the chocolate will melt), so keep tasting and adjusting your seasoning accordingly. It shouldn't be an issue--you know you're a greedy bitch like me, who can't wait an hour for that shit to simmer.
-I think this chili tastes better the next day, but if you're so hungry that the video posted above actually stimulated your appetite, serve chili immediately over white rice, and garnish with cheddar cheese.
NOTE: Serve chili over rice with a SLOTTED SPOON. This chili is very soupy, and I know most recipes and restaurants create chili this way, but I DON'T. I do, however, cook it with lots of liquid, and store the leftovers with the liquid, so that the beef/beans don't get dried out when you reheat them.
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WOW you have a way with words! nice blog spot son!
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