As I mentioned about a week ago, the Unemployed Chef is making major moves. Moves that may actually earn me a real kitchen. With counter space. With cupboards. Hey, you fantasize about threesomes; I fantasize about cutting boards and spice racks. I'm easy to excite, I guess.
Of course, nothing good comes easily. Consider this "big move" to be an upscale, overpriced meal (although this economy cuts a slight discount), served with a complimentary side of stress, annoyance, and the urge to go on a mass shooting spree. I have a very low tolerance for douchebags, paperwork, and incompetent people--and I'm up to my chin in all three at the moment. But I've mastered the perfect way to swim through this douchy trio. It's called "massive amounts of alcohol for breakfast."
For those who can't handle their liquor (pathetic), I've also perfected the art of using food as an explicit metaphor. Telling someone to "shove it up their ass" is weak. Physically shoving something up an anal cavity? Now that's making a statement.
I know this poor, helpless chicken isn't to blame, but a girl can dream, can't she?
Beer Butt Chicken
Makes 4 servings
Ingredients
-1 whole roasting chicken (I doubled up... so that would be... 2 roasting chickens? I was never good at math.)
-1 (12 ounce) can of beer (Any beer works... I used Budweiser)
-Poultry seasoning of your choice (I used Mrs. Dash Southwest Chipotle Seasoning Blend on one chicken, and Mrs. Dash Garlic & Herb Seasoning Blend on the other. The Southwest Chipotle kicks ass.) If you don't feel like buying poultry seasoning, you can make your own dry rub easily with salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, and paprika.
Steps
-Wash chickens thoroughly and remove insides (gizzards, heart, liver...all that good stuff). I don't care what you do with them, but in this recipe, your chicken has no internal organs. Your chicken is an alcoholic. It's insides are beer.
-Cover chicken skins generously with poultry seasoning, rubbing the seasoning into its inside and all of its crevices (yeah baby).
-Preheat your grill to medium heat.
-Here's the fun part: Open your beer, and chug half of it. Be sure to have more beer on hand. Since you have no self control, you'll probably down the entire thing. In that case, open another can of beer, and chug half of it.
-Hold the half-empty (or is it half-full? No, half-empty--I'm pessimistic) beer can right-side-up, and hold the chicken's "opening" open. As you can see, you might need an extra hand or 2.
-I'm trying to find a tasteful way to write this next step, but I can't. Shove your beer can up the chicken's ass.
-Keeping the beer can (and the chicken) right side up, place your drunken slut of a chicken on the grill.
-Cook chicken for a good 3 hours. Remove beer can, and serve. The skin should be crispy, and the insides should be moist (I believe that warrants another "yeah baby") from all of the evaporated beer.
BUFFALO SPORTS DAILY features The Unemployed Chef as the official BSD Tailgate Blogger!!! The Beer Butt Chicken recipe above was originally featured here.
I made this beer butt chicken and it was fin delicious son!
ReplyDelete