My Big Fat Italian Thanksgiving...

Being a holiday week and all, I thought I'd switch things up a bit. As the official Tailgate Blogger for Buffalo Sports Daily, I've been supplying you loyal readers tailgate recipes ever since the start of football season. However, any tailgating food I whip up this Sunday will most likely be some concoction of Thanksgiving leftovers and scraps. So it's only right to show you guys the origins of those leftovers and scraps, right?

Here's a little peek at Thanksgiving, done the fat I-talian way. To me, it's one of those days where I always make sure I have a festive pair of stretch pants on hand. Although this year, I'm not sure stretch pants did the trick. I needed a stretch stomach.

He knows what I'm talking about.

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Now, some of these photos are just teases. I'm not writing out 20 recipes. One, I don't feel like it. And two...well, some of them I don't know offhand.

I'm lucky I got any photos at all...people kept reaching for food as I was trying to get my 'Photographer' on. Rude.

Because I'm exhausted (turkey hangover), I kept the recipes short and simple. I know they're usually a bit more detailed, but let's be honest--50% of those details are dirty jokes and sexual innuendos that have nothing to do with anything.

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Before we down the traditional Thanksgiving spread, we pregame. With this:

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Before dinner, I served up some Butternut Squash & Potato Soup. It was done in about 5 seconds. R. I. P., you sexy squash. I regret not being able to photograph you before your depletion.
But we can always relive your glory days via this post from 8/3/09:

http://theunemployedchef.blogspot.com/2009/08/butternut-squash-soup.html

Oh yea, the above link also contains the soup's recipe. Check it out.
(I used Baby Dutch Yellow Potatoes instead of the Baby Reds, and doubled the recipe.)

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From left: Stuffing with Sausage, Bacon, and Mushrooms; Stuffing with Apple, Cranberry, and Walnuts; Candied Yams with Marshmallows
I had to stick with the past 2 weeks' sausage-fest theme (If you're a new reader or have no idea what I'm referring to, click here and here.

Stuffing with Sausage, Bacon, and Mushrooms

-16-ounce bag seasoned cornbread stuffing of your choice, moisted with chicken stock instead of water (To avoid overpowering the remaining ingredients, use less stuffing. 10-12 ounces should be enough.)
-Onions and celery, sautéed in butter and olive oil
-16-ounce Italian sausage, crumbled and browned in olive oil
-Bacon, fried and crumbled (as much as desired)
-1 box mushrooms, sliced and sautéed briefly

-Combine all above ingredients, and place in a sprayed baking pan. Top with pats of butter.
-Loosely cover with tin foil, and bake in oven for 30 minutes. Uncover the pan for the last 5 minutes.

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Believe it or not, there are actually people at our dinner table who don't eat red meat. I know, right?

Stuffing with Apple, Cranberry, and Walnuts

Use the same base recipe for the stuffing as above:
-16-ounce bag seasoned cornbread stuffing of your choice, moisted with chicken stock instead of water (To avoid overpowering the remaining ingredients, use less stuffing. 10-12 ounces should be enough.)
-Onions and celery, sautéed in butter and olive oil

New ingredients:
-2 Granny Smith apples, cut up
-Dried cranberries, soaked in chicken broth for about an hour
-Walnut halves
-sugar (as much as desired)
-cinnamon (as much as desired)
-Maple syrup (as much as desired)

-Combine all above ingredients, and place in a sprayed baking pan. Top with pats of butter.
-Loosely cover with tin foil, and bake in oven for 30 minutes. Uncover the pan for the last 5 minutes.

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From left: Butternut Squash and Cranberry Salad; Baked Artichoke Hearts with Breadcrumbs

Butternut Squash and Cranberry Salad

-Butternut squash, peeled and cut into cubes
-Maple syrup
-Dried cranberries
-1 cup apple cider
-2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
-2 tsp dijon mustard
-2 Shallots, diced
-Olive oil

-Combine butternut squash with olive oil and maple syrup, and toss to coat. Spread out on a baking pan, and bake at 450 degrees for 20-25 minutes.
-Add dried cranberries to the cubed squash, and bake for another 5-10 minutes, or until squash is tender and cranberries plump up.
-In a saucepan, combine apple cider, apple cider vinegar, and mustard. Cook until mixture reduces, add shallots and cook until heated through (not browned). Add 1/2 cup olive oil.
-Pour saucepan mixture over squash and cranberries. Toss to coat, and serve.

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Baked Artichokes with Breadcrumbs

-3 cans artichoke hearts, cut into quarters (no marinade)
-Seasoned breadcrumbs
-3 8-ounce boxes fresh mushrooms, sliced
-6 cloves garlic, chopped
-1 cup grated Parmesian cheese
-Olive oil
-Salt & pepper

-Combine all ingredients in a large bowl, with enough olive oil to coat mixture (you want everything to be moist, but not mushy)
-Transfer to a greased baking pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes, or until crispy.

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Cranberry-Apricot Sauce

-2 bags fresh cranberries (12-ounce)
-2/3 cup orange juice (I used Orange-Peach-Mango juice)
-3 cups dried apricot halves, cut into thin strips
-1/2 cup white sugar
-1/2 cup brown sugar
-Orange zest
-Dash of salt


-Combine all of the above ingredients in a saucepan. Cook over medium high heat, stirring constantly. Keep cooking until the cranberries burst and thicken into a jellied consistancy. Cool before serving.

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Oh, and of course, dessert.

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BUFFALO SPORTS DAILY features The Unemployed Chef as the official BSD Tailgate Blogger!!!

Re: Putting sausage inside your taco

I still have a slight turkey hangover from Thanksgiving. I'll be adding a post on that shortly, but just keep that in mind while you read through this half-assed post.

My plans for this beautiful Sunday? Watching the Jets take on the Panthers (which, unlike last week's game, shouldn't be a complete embarassment), drinking (obviously), and putting up my ridiculously ghetto Christmas tree (while drinking, obviously). Also, I'll be listening to this on repeat.

Anyway, back to the game. I’m sure wherever you’re watching the game is a total sausage-fest. To acknowledge that, this will be my second week in a row of a sausage post. I guess you can say the Unemployed Chef eats a lot of sausage. That’s what she said. Or I said.

We can say this is a much belated Oktoberfest tribute, except this recipe is supposed to be Mexican. But it’s not German sausage. Or even Mexican. So I don’t know what it is. But it tastes good, and it’s easy (just like your mom).

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Sausage Tacos

Makes 4 tacos

Ingredients

-4 Taco Shells, or soft wraps (I used Old El Paso Stand ‘n Stuff), you know, the ones that are flat on the bottom. Because I wanted them to stand up. So I could take a lovely picture for you. Instead, when I opened the box, 8 out of the 10 shells were broken, and my taco fell apart immediately after its assembly. I’m not sure if they were stale, or if Old El Paso just all-around SUCKS. But be forewarned.)
-Shredded cheese (I used a mix of Cheddar, Monterey Jack, Asadero, and Queso Blanco)
-Shredded romaine or iceberg lettuce
-4 hot sausage links (I used Al Fresco Spicy Jalapeño Chicken Sausage…So good!)
-1 15.5 oz can black beans
-1 small yellow onion, diced
-3 cloves garlic, minced
-Olive oil
-Salt & Pepper
-White rice
-Taco sauce, such as Ortega Thick & Smooth Taco Sauce. Or, instead of being a lazy bitch, you could make your own (See recipe below).
-Sour cream (Optional)
-Guacamole (Optional)

These are base ingredients. Use what you want. Prefer shredded chicken or ground beef over sausage? Go right ahead. Hate shredded lettuce? Leave it off, or add another green, like sauteed spinach. Like tomatoes or red peppers? Go for it. Sick of me asking/answering my own questions?

Yes, yes you are.

You can prepare the beans beforehand, and use any leftovers as a side dish with the rice.

This is apparently Taco Bell’s taco sauce recipe, or a clone of it. You know, because nothing screams “authentic Mexican” like Taco Bell.

Steps

-Rinse and drain beans. In a frying pan or skillet, heat oil (enough to coat the pan) over medium-high heat. Add onions to pan, and cook until soft and translucent. Add garlic to pan with onions, stirring until garlic is just starting to brown and your onions are starting to caramelize.

-Add beans to your onion and garlic mixture, and cook until beans are heated through and tender. Remove from heat and set aside.
-Prepare rice according to package instructions. (I mean, really, you need my assistance to cook rice?). Cover and set aside.
-Add a drop or 2 (about a tbsp, for you measurement freaks) of oil to a frying pan or skillet, and set to medium-high heat. Better yet, remove the beans/onion/garlic mixture from your pan, and use your already-deliciously-seasoned grease.
-Add sausage links, and cook for about 10-15 minutes, or until casing is browned on all sides.

-Remove sausage from pan, and cut into small dice.

Just a few of the toppings

-Assemble your taco as follows: Shell, rice, beans, sausage, lettuce, cheese, taco sauce, additional toppings. Or do whatever the hell you want. It’s a taco, not rocket science.

The bean-spillage was intentional. I think it gives the plate an artistic flair.

Like I said above, the taco didn’t hold up so well. That’s when I resorted to making a taco salad by breaking up the (already broken) shell. Ta-da!

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BUFFALO SPORTS DAILY features The Unemployed Chef as the official BSD Tailgate Blogger!!!

Click here to read the original "Sausage Tacos" post.

A final farewell to Staten Island...

So as you may recall from my last post, I lost the house I was supposed to be moving into, and then I lost my apartment. Lately, I've seen the back of more Uhaul trucks than...a truck-stop hooker who specializes in Uhaul trucks? Apparantly, I've lost even my knack for putting together a decent simile.

Anyway, The Homeless Chef has been without her computer for quite awhile. I'm back in Manhattan (for now), with an even smaller kitchen than I had before. Not even kidding. The refrigerator is in the living room.

It's only right that this post be written in memorium of my past year-and-a-half in Staten Island. Ah, Staten Island. What can I say? You've given me so many great memories. Being the vast Guido-haven that you are, I guess I was destined to live on you at some point in my life.

I spent my first unemployed days in this beautiful garbage-dump of a borough, with plenty of idle hours (since none of you assholes ever visited me) to wander around glamorous supermarkets, such as Key Foods. It was my privilege to pay top-dollar for shitty food (at least until I discovered that I could buy Mexican brands for half the price), and wait for hours in line while people attempted to pay with their food stamps and welfare checks.

And I learned to cook.

I mean, I've always cooked. But who has time (or energy) to prepare an extravagant, 3-course-meal after working allllll day? My unemployed days in Staten Island granted me endless hours to experiment with new foods, new recipes, and a new type of food blog. And the best part? I've received Unemployment through it all...and the same salary that I was making at my old job. Tough life.

Although I lived on the north shore of Staten Island (slightly different demographic), I wanted to honor the rest of "Staten Italy" with the ultimate Italian tailgating meal--Sausage & Peppers. It doesn't get more Eye-talian (or easy) than Sausage & Peppers. I think my mom made it for every "Culture Day" that I had in school. In order to transform this Italian staple into a "grillable, easy-to-eat-in-the-parking-lot-or-during-the-game" snack, I prepared this week's Sausage & Peppers "tailgate-style." That is, in a hot dog bun. Really, this shouldn't even qualify as a recipe. It's painful to even write out steps for this. This doesn't count as cooking. This is lame.

I just really wanted a reason to post this sweet Family Guy clip. Yes, another Family Guy clip. I think I can find a Family Guy clip that fits every one of my posts. I won't, because you'll grow tired of them, but for now...deal with it.

P.S.

I just joined Twitter. I'm not really sure how it works yet, but I discovered a few random followers of my blog were "tweeting" my posts (thanks, by the way!). So here I am.

If you read this, follow me here @Tess_T_Tweets

But don't actually follow me. I punch balls.

P.S.S.

As you might recognize, these pictures were taken in my old kitchen. AND I'm keeping my ugly green placemats just to piss off all the people who talked shit about them on Facebook! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

P.S.S.S.

I found your mom's favorite beverage:

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Italian Sausage & Peppers, Tailgate-Style

Makes 4 servings

Ingredients
-1 large yellow onion, chopped into 1-inch chunks
-2 peppers, chopped into 1-inch chunks (I used red and green. Guess I was feeling Christmas-y. I like using 2 different colors, but honestly, I just buy what's cheapest. And really, yellow peppers--I could care less if you're imported from Venezuela. You are not worth $3.99 a lb. Get over yourselves.)
-4 spicy Italian sausage links (You want them to be short and fat, not long and skinny. Like a choad.)
-4 hotdog rolls
-Olive oil

Steps
-In a large pot or dutch oven (ha), bring water to a boil. Once boiling, drop your sausages into the water, and boil for about 10 minutes. Remove from water, and set aside.
-Meanwhile, heat olive oil (enough to coat the pan) in a frying pan or skillet. Add onions, and cook for about 5 minutes, or until they are slightly softened.
-Throw peppers into the hot oil with the onions. Cook until the onions are translucent and caramelized, and the peppers are soft.


-With a slotted spoon, remove the onions and peppers from pan, and set aside.
-Keeping the burner on, add the reserved sausages to the hot oil. Fry on both sides until brown and crispy.


-Return onions and peppers to pan with sausages, cook for 1 minute.
-Place each sausage on a hotdog roll, cover with peppers and onions, and fuhgetaboutit (You know I had to at least once).

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BUFFALO SPORTS DAILY features The Unemployed Chef as the official BSD Tailgate Blogger!!!

Click here to read my latest post.